(We hope our readers will peruse the following with tongue in cheek, which is exactly the location of ours as we write in response to groups purporting to be the moral guardians of our children.)

What a relief!

Folks have finally caught on to the demonic intent of a cartoon sponge.

And his band of cohorts, we might add.

We can only hope, for the sakes of our children, that puppets are next.

Really, those two male striped-shirted-30-something-year-olds are still sleeping in the same room with each other for gosh sakes. And right in front of our kids.

They've even been seen with their arms linked under the guise of unconditional friendship. Hah!

We also look forward to the day when cartoon animals will be exposed for what they truly are, too, starting, of course, with that grey rabbit.

What with all the cross-dressing and kissing in front of the kids. Shameful.

Ditto, for the black duck.

But, truly, the rabbit's abhorrent lifestyle literally pales by comparison to that cavorting cartoon skunk. He's no less than an abject womanizer. Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Not to mention cartoon characters involved in long-term … uh … relationships without benefit of clergy; mice, ducks, pigs. Oh the shame of it.

But at least their relationships are committed, unlike the iconic doll that broke off a relationship last year with a long-time male companion doll, opting for a much younger male doll. Well, at least her relationship is—you know, ummm, “regular.”

And we would have to admit that she is a darn (Yikes … can we still use that word?) sight better than that other female living under the same roof with seven—count them, no less than seven—men.

Speaking of which, what about all those others like her (you know, the band of royal women) cavorting about among our young girls' playthings?

Where are the royal men, we ask, to accompany these royal ladies? Why … our daughters must resort to having all the royal ladies boogie together at the ball. That is just not “right,” we say.

Life is not a seventh grade dance, people.

This is serious stuff we are talking about here.

Oh, and lest we not forget the racially mixed relationships that are foisted upon our children, flaunted before their very eyes: pig and frog. Really!

People should stick with their own “kind” we say.

Oh; wait a minute.

They're not people.

What were we thinking? D'oh!

(Let's not even go there.)

In closing, we can only hope these organizations—the guardians of our children's morals—will use the same clout on other childhood plagues like abuse, pornography, inadequate health care, obesity and illiteracy.

We hope, too, they will bring their collective strength to bear on efforts that will bring music and art education back into school curriculums along with recess. Don't you remember? It's that little respite of carefree time in the middle of the day when a kid can run, skip, jump around, laugh and most especially, play with abandon ... like a kid.