'Stand up' for sales

The lights shined in my eyes, the crowd looked at me with expectation, and the beer I had promised myself as a reward when I completed the performance seemed like a long way away.

I was on stage at the New York Comedy Club, the capstone of a 10-week stand-up comedy-writing class, and my teacher, Dave LaBarca, nervously paced somewhere out there in the shadows.

I felt alone. I felt scared. I felt…well…I felt like I was in front of a Wal-Mart buyer!

I had taken the course in order to expand on my writing skills. But what I didn't realize when I signed up for the course, was that I would actually have to perform in front of an audience that had paid to get into the club.

“Dave,” I had asked my teacher, “Do they actually have to laugh? Can't they just smile or nod knowingly?”

“Rich,” he said, “Customers at comedy clubs are paying money to get in and consume watered-down drinks. They expect to laugh.”

Yikes!

I thought about the company presidents who had expected me to walk away with a sale. Anything less was not good enough.

Well, I survived the stand-up gig. And I actually got people to laugh at my material (some of it, anyway), as well as meeting some “interesting” people. I sat there drinking my victory beer and was struck by how much being a stand up comic is like being a salesperson.

If you think about it, a salesperson is really an entertainer who is performing in front of a very small audience. You are typically by yourself, putting on a show for someone who is not necessarily disposed to like you or what you have to say, all in hopes of making the sale.

For the comic the sale is getting a laugh. For a salesperson, the sale is, well, making a sale.

Dave LaBarca, my teacher at the Gotham Writer's Workshop, is the real deal. He has performed at clubs, appeared on Comedy Central's Stand Up Stand Up, and written sitcoms. When Dave gives a lecture, he keeps repeating and looking at you until you write down what he has to say. Dave is very serious about being funny.

Dave has three rules for why a joke bombs:

• The joke is not funny
• The joke is funny but presented poorly
• The joke is funny, presented properly, but is the wrong joke for that particular audience

Let's see what happens when we paraphrase Dave by substituting the word product for joke, good for funny, and buyer for audience.

Three reasons a sale bombs:

• The product is not good
• The product is good but presented poorly
• The product is good, presented properly, but is the wrong product for that particular buyer

A joke may be funny or it may not. You don't know until you have presented it many times.

In other words, don't make an assumption of what is funny, let the audience tell you whether it is good or not.

In class, I did a routine that I had thought was funny, but the class did not. As a result, I decided to leave it out of my act, but Dave said, “You won't know if it is good or not unless you have presented it many times and seen how different audiences reacted.”

So, I left it in, but put it at the end of my performance. I delivered the first line and…the audience roared. They loved the routine. It was my biggest laugh of the night.

Many times, we've had a product we did not believe in and did not present with conviction or at all. As well, we may present a product to the first buyer, get a strong rejection, and proceed to never take the product out again.

Maybe we need to listen to Dave and present that product 20 or 30 times and then make up our minds. It may turn out to be the best thing we have.

Dave always pointed out that to a comic, timing is everything. If you move on to the next joke too quickly, the audience may not have had time to react to the first one. It may not have been that the joke was not funny; it may just have been that you didn't give them enough time to laugh.

Sales people need to pay attention to timing as well. If you move on to the next product or idea too quickly, you may not have given the buyer time to take in what you said. It may not have been that the product was not good; it may just be that you said too much, too quickly.

Dave says, “Know your audience.” For example, don't tell an off-color joke to a church group; don't insult an audience that is big, mean, and drunk; don't tell fat jokes to fat audiences unless you're fatter than they are.

Know your buyer. For example, make sure in advance that the buyer you are seeing has buying responsibility for what you are selling; visit their stores so you know whether your product's price point makes sense for the customers; and (timing again) check their buying schedule so you are sure that it is not too early or too late for the season you are trying to work.

Indeed, stand-up comedy is a lot like selling. They are at times scary, depressing and triumphant. They can also be a lot of fun. Let's remember to have fun.