Richard Gottlieb

Finding Greenspan

I was at Borders yesterday buying Alan Greenspan's new book The Age of Turbulence.  As I was walking out of the store I noticed a poster that said that Alan Greenspan would be in this same Borders signing autographs on the 19th (today) at noon.  That is when I came up with my plan.  I would get in line and when he was in the midst of signing my book I would ask:  "Mr. Greenspan, any advice for the toy industry?"

In my plan, he would glance up, look me in the eye, and say "Yes, in fact I do."  "Tell your industry to ..."  Well that is as far as it got because of course I did not know what he would say.  If  I did, believe me, I would not be in line at Borders.  I would be having lunch in the World Bank cafeteria.

So, I arrived at the store and was ushered up to the second floor where I asked the gentleman herding customers where the end of the line was.  He pointed and my heart sank progressively as I saw a line snaking sinuously around the building, doubling back on itself and ending up somewhere in a dark corner.  There were probably 600 people in that line.

So I asked the guy how long he thought it would take.  He estimated at least two hours.  Well, I don't know about you but I don't have two hours to stand in line.  I've got a half an hour, maybe 45 minutes, but not two hours.

So, basically, I got nothin'.  

But, my interest now aroused, I wondered who all of these people were and why they wanted Alan Greenspan's autograph so bad that they would wait in line for hours.  So I turned to a conservative looking middle aged woman in line and asked: "Why are you here today to meet Alan Greenspan?"

She looked at me sweetly and said: "Because I was Paul Volcker's secret girlfriend."  

Well, Paul Volcker as you may remember was Chairman of the Federal Reserve under Carter and Reagan so I thought to myself:  "This has absolutely nothing to do with Alan Greenspan (except that she might be some kind of an economist groupie) but I might have just stumbled on a major story."

So, I said: "Let me get this right, you were Paul Volcker's secret girlfriend?"  "Yes, I was" she responded.

"And Alan Greenspan knew this?" I asked.

"No, he did not." she replied.

"Did Paul Volcker know this?" I then asked.

"No, he did not." was her reply.  "I told you it was a secret."

"Ooooooooooooooh, I said"  "Oh boy" I thought.

So I moved down the line briskly and found a young couple, obviously in love, who were economists.  I asked them if they were there due to Mr. Greenspan's "irrational exuberance?"

"Yes", they responded.

Then I asked if they fell in love with each other due to the same irrational exuberance?

"Yes", he replied.  "No", she replied.  "Uh oh", I thought.

So, again I moved on and  spoke to about twenty people.  Some were there because they thought Alan Greenspan was a great man.  Some were there because they were getting it as a surprise for their husband or wife.  A few were there because their boss sent them.

One woman, though, really stood out.  She was a concierge from the New York Palace Hotel who had come to buy the book and get it autographed on behalf of a guest.  Now that is the height of customer service.  I hope they give her a raise.  

Come to think of it, maybe I should have asked her to ask Alan Greenspan if he had advice for the toy industry.  

Posted by Richard Gottlieb on September 18, 2007 | Comments (0)